ST. PAUL — As the world continues to struggle with the effects of climate change, it can be rare to see restoration of the natural environment. Luckily, we’ve been able to witness nature healing in our own backyard. That’s right: white guys wearing boat shoes have begun to return to the Surly Taproom.
“When the owners of Surly fired all their staff for unionizing and shuttered their doors a year ago, we were devastated,” said environmental advocate Rochelle Carson. “We were certain that indigenous species of the Taproom such as white men who own Sperry’s would face dire consequences. Now that the Taproom is opening once more, we’ve already begun to see a stabilization of their population.”
Carson further emphasizes the importance of the Surly Taproom to the St. Paul ecosystem, highlighting assets such as “wide open spaces in which to run into former coworkers ,” and “adequate amounts of low ABV beer to facilitate small talk amongst competing packs of white guys.”
Carson left us with this touching message:
“When our environment thrives, we thrive. And as long as the Surly Taproom exists, white men in boat shoes will have a safe place to be, hopefully far away from the bars that are actually fun in the Twin Cities.”