OPINION: St. Paul Public Schools Have NO Right To Tell My Daughter She Is Evil Simply Because She Is White (And Also Evil)

This is what the founding fathers warned us about. The sinister Marxist ideology of “critical race theory” has infested our schools and threatens to sabotage our once great nation from the inside by destroying the self-esteem of our little ones!

This week, I received an email from my 12-year-old daughter’s so-called “history” teacher informing me, in no uncertain terms, that my wonderful, dear Olivia was “evil” for the sole reason that she is of European descent (and also a deeply malevolent individual who wishes nothing more than to watch the world and everyone in it burn to ash as she basks in the fire’s warm glow)!

Disgusting. I can’t think of anything more despicable than prejudging a child and declaring her a villain simply because of her proud Germanic and Swedish heritage (and also because she spends the majority of her time in school cackling menacingly, sketching blueprints for horrifying Saw-like psychological torture contraptions, and ominously writing the names of classmates next to them in red gel pen)!

Martin Luther King, Jr. would be ashamed to see how our society is regressing to the bigoted days of old. Last time I checked, we weren’t supposed to judge each other based on our skin color (or how many times we’ve killed and dissected stray cats just to “see how they work”).

The double standard is obvious and deeply maddening. Can you imagine the public outcry if a teacher had told a young Black girl that she was somehow morally corrupt simply because she was born Black? And had also been caught breaking into the school’s science lab and stealing chemicals in order to develop an untraceable neurotoxin so she could poison the city’s water supply and refuse to hand over the antidote unless she was wired the equivalent of one billion dollars in a cryptocurrency called ‘JokerCoin’?

We need to let our elected officials know that proud patriots will not stand for this perverted indoctrination that made my daughter feel like a criminal for something as irrelevant as skin color (or the fact that she has somehow amassed an entourage of henchmen consisting of gangsters kicked out of the Yakuza for being too sadistic and a pack of horrifying genetically modified wolves that walk upright like men).

Now, did Mrs. Keaton mention skin color anywhere in her email? No. Not explicitly. But you have to read between the lines, especially between the line that mentions how my daughter is already worshipped as a messiah by no less than three separate Romanian doomsday cults and the line about how she’s no longer allowed to wear her terrifying crown made of human bones in class (her hair is blonde, by the way).

Honestly, I’m considering being done with this whole Communist public school system altogether! I’d pull Olivia out and homeschool her myself if she hadn’t shackled me to the floor of this windowless, concrete room weeks ago.