Howdy there, young outcast! So, Anna Rose won’t let you sit at her table for lunch because you didn’t know who Addison Rae was? In one fell swoop, she has figuratively stitched a scarlet “L” on your forehead, making it just about impossible to make new friends. Fear not, for there is one surefire way to make sure you have a social life and avoid a reality where your mom is your best friend. Get your groove back with this guide on how to make new friends by learning to make your own American Girl dolls.
American Girl dolls are a sign of wealth – a young person’s way of signaling to the world that there will probably be crab cakes at their next birthday party. When looking to start creating your own American Girl dolls, be sure that the materials you find are expensive, since there is a chance that when the other kids at school hear you are constructing your own mini human, they will stare at you with awe (which also looks like fear).
A signature of the American Girl doll franchise is the rich history that is endowed to each girl. When Mrs. Benson asks you about the dolls you are frankensteining together, you can let her know that Denise is known for being a true friend who doesn’t care about pop culture and that Jennyfer will do anything to protect her friends from bullies. Anything.
The American Girl Doll Bistro is the Benihana for prepubescents! Throw your own twist on this and create a treehouse where you can plot fun activities for you and the dozens of dolls you have created! Activities from skipping rocks to making cucumber sandwiches to sabotaging Anna Rose’s art project will give you a fully rounded social schedule that will leave your parents both proud of you and wondering where is my young child going in the middle of the night with a wagon full of dolls?
American Girl dolls are known for being the hero of their own story! By this point, you will have created over a hundred loyal followers who will cheer and chant in your honor as your whole class stares in awe of you and your cavalcade of dolls. Mrs. Benson is even impressed – giving you an “A” as long as your new friends “stay the hell home and not in her classroom with their beady devil eyes”.
And there you have it! New friends await you so head to Michael’s and remember that making friends takes effort, fabric, and a dedication to be the supreme of the elementary school! Yay!