Retired Mechanical Bull From Cowboy Jack’s Starts Conservative Blog


After stepping down from a decades long career with the famous downtown Minneapolis bar, the mechanical bull from Cowboy Jack’s has now focused his attention on writing a new and controversial right wing blog. Attacking progressive ideals with the same veracity he once reserved for throwing drunk bros off his back, the retired bovine machine prides himself in telling it like it is.

“Everything is so PC nowadays. I think America is ready for a fresh voice that isn’t afraid of the liberal media and is a mechanical bull,” the dismembered robot cow body wrote in his inaugural post, “My time spent at Cowboy Jack’s with their customers has taught me there’s a silent majority out there. And they’re not worried about who they might offend.”

Finally becoming fed up with “liberal snowflakes”, the mechanical bull from Cowboy Jack’s launched his blog, “No Bull Shit: Bucking the Establishment”, citing Ben Shapiro and the YouTube algorithm as his top influences.

“My dad was a mechanical bull, and his dad was a mechanical bull. I came from a family that believes in the value of hard work. Whether you’re mining coal, or allowing drunk people to ride you for entertainment, we all are just trying to provide for our families,” the hydraulics draped in synthetic cow skin continued in the initial post, closing with his blog’s mission, “to combat outrage culture by purposefully causing outrage.”

The daily blog posts, appearing under a banner depicting bald eagles holding guns with red, white, and blue skulls, often contain inflammatory titles and sporadic ads for NRA TV.