The Minnesota Historical Society Just Clarified That James J Hill is The Name Of The House and the Person Who Lived There is James J Hill’s Monster

Original photo by McGhiever

ST. PAUL — After decades of just letting it slide, the Minnesota Historical Society (MNHS) is finally setting the record straight by clarifying to the public that ‘James J. Hill’ is the name of the house and the person who lived there is called ‘James J. Hill’s Monster’.

“Frankly I don’t know how this misconception started. We’ve tried to make it clear since we acquired the property in 1978 that James J. Hill is the name of an evil sentient house that lives in St. Paul and that one day in 1838, it contorted itself into the shape of a gigantic man like some kind of wood and brick Transformer, ran into a cemetery during a thunderstorm and built a guy out of decaying body parts and that later, that guy became a greedy Gilded Age railroad tycoon known as ‘James J Hill’s monster’” said MNHS Historian Kent Whitworth, “what about that is so difficult to understand?”

The Historical Society’s website has been updated with an explanation of the whole James J. Hill/James J. Hill’s Monster situation in simple language and large, 25 point font as if grabbing the public by the shoulders, shaking them, and yelling “won’t you get this through your thick skulls?!”

“People are constantly showing up here and asking me questions about James J. Hill’s monster and I want to ask ‘who cares about that asshole?’, the house is the real star here – it literally got up one day and built a guy because it was bored,” said James J. Hill tour guide Chloe Jensen, “after they leave, James J. Hill talks to me through its mouth which is one of the windows in the dining room and says ‘that last guest was a real idiot’ and we laugh and laugh together. It’s the best part of this job.”

When The Nordly reached out to the Minnesota Historical Society to ask them whether one might argue that in a sense the real monster was the house itself due to its reckless and hubristic efforts to play God, they did not respond and blocked us on social media.