Woman Brave Enough to Face Tear Gas in July Too Scared to Slide Into Man’s DMs in February

MINNEAPOLIS — Despite spending the past summer facing off against the Minneapolis Police Department and the National Guard, local activist Shona Kelly is reticent to slide into the DMs of a man she has a crush on, especially not this close to Valentine’s Day. 

“I’m just not bold like that,” said Ms. Kelly, who regularly defied curfews mandated by Governor Walz during early summer protests.  

In the wake of the MPD’s murder of George Floyd this past May, Kelly participated in mutual aid efforts and marched daily in order to protest police brutality against Black Americans. She was tear gassed multiple times, dodged rubber bullets, and was arrested for civil disobedience later in the summer. Despite her courage on the front lines, she maintains that asking someone out is a prospect too terrifying to even entertain. 

“It’s just too much! I don’t want to come off as aggressive, you know?” said Kelly, who dislocated a police officer’s jaw as she fought being put into handcuffs during her July arrest. 

At time of publication, Kelly was scrolling through the object of her affection’s Liked Tweets and debating whether or not it may be more appropriate to shoot her shot sometime in March, when the holiday pressure would be off.