Saint Paul Winter Carnival Royal Family Falls Under Spell of Mysterious Russian Mystic
Mere days after their coronation, the St Paul Winter Carnival Royal Family has purportedly come under the sway of an enigmatic Russian holy man. The man in question, Mikhail Raspopov, an alleged supernatural healer, was first summoned by the Queen of Snows when the young Prince of the North Wind fell ill Wednesday. Raspopov was soon able to restore the Prince to health and sometime later, he befriended the Queen and her family. Raspopov has since been seen with the Royals enjoying a round of mini golf at CanCan Wonderland, browsing the Hot Topic in Maplewood Mall, and advising them on domestic policy in a local Dunn Brothers.
Raspopov is being described as an imposing figure that stands 6 foot 7, with a wild unkempt beard and striking blue eyes that seem to peer into your very soul. He often sips from an ornate goblet of holy water, which he covers in a ceremonial brown paper bag. Little is known of Raspopov’s origins other than that he lived for many years as a monk in Siberia and claims to have worked for a couple months at a GameStop in Roseville.
Some fear that Raspopov has hypnotized the Royal Family using dark magic in order to gain influence – an idea an anonymous Royal spokesman vehemently denies. In a statement, the spokesman said: “There is nothing sinister about Mikhail. He is simply a cool, fun guy who is impossible to kill”.
At press time, the Queen of the Snows and her family were being carried off to a dungeon by a mob of revolutionary peasants.