Calhoun Square To Be Renamed Racist Dead White Man Square
In a move that is causing both celebration and mass confusion, owners of the Calhoun Square shopping center are changing its name from a controversial one to one that might still be controversial?
MINNEAPOLIS—In a move that is causing both celebration and mass confusion, owners of the Calhoun Square shopping center are changing its name from a controversial one to one that might still be controversial?
“After vaguely listening to community leaders , we have decided to change Calhoun Square to Racist Dead White Man Square, ” Chicago based owners Northpond Partners said in a new statement. “We realized we could either keep the name and upset members of the community, or we could lose out on all that sweet sweet prejudice rich people money by changing it. It was a tough call”
While many in the community are calling this a victory,, others are conflicted.
“Like yeah it’s not named after racist John Calhoun anymore, but it’s still got racist in the name,” said community activist Laquan Davis. “When it was named after John Calhoun I knew exactly which racist dead white man it was named after, but with this new name it could be literally any dead white man. Henry Ford? Walt Disney? A former bartender at Cowboy slims? Literally any dead white man.”
Some neighborhood traditionalists are against any name changes in the area.
“John Calhoun was more than just a racist white man”, said local historian and East Calhoun resident Chuck Brunches. ” He was at one point a very big lake, a few neighborhoods. An entire square. Several city streets. But if the name needs to change, I’m glad the new one is still racist.”
Along with changing the name of the shopping center the developers also plan to rebrand Icehouse Plaza as Gentrification Village.