Funeral Homes Bracing for Back-to-School Season

In the wake of Governor Walz’s school-reopening plans (or lack thereof), area funeral homes are prepping for the influx of business associated with COVID-related deaths, and adapting their services to cater to a younger clientele.


Photo by  Azbounce4kids

Photo by Azbounce4kids

MINNEAPOLIS — In the wake of Governor Walz’s school-reopening plans (or lack thereof), area funeral homes are prepping for the influx of business associated with COVID-related deaths, and adapting their services to cater to a younger clientele.

“We aren’t exactly elated by the school’s decisions to start the school year, but we have to stay prepared you know?” said Mark Calaway, local undertaker, “You can cut a normal-sized casket in half and bada-bing, bada-boom, you have two Pre-K coffins right there.” Calaway also spoke about the new amenities being offered for families while placing Peppa Pig stickers on pint-sized urns, “We’re expecting a lot of young visitors, so we put a bouncy castle out back.”

When asked if the funeral home had received an increasing amount of memorial reservations, Calaways reply was simple, “Just give it two weeks.”