How to Be a Comfy-Cozy Cutie While Locked Inside the Mental Prison of Your Own Design

Okay, we get it—life has been a little bit challenging lately! You’re inside all the time, the dishes in the sink are multiplying like rabbits, none of your socks have mates anymore and there’s a dent in your floor marking the path between your bedroom and bathroom.

And! On top of all that, your brain is telling every positive thought that manages to claw its way past your prefrontal cortex to NOT pass go, do NOT collect $200 (ugh we WISH!).

Even if your brain is a steel trap of compounding grief and worry, we’ve got a couple of tricks and tips that will make sure that you at least look like a comfy-cozy little cutie!

Step One:
First! Get yourself an oversized sweatshirt and make absolutely sure that the sleeves are two sizes too long for your arms so you can properly channel the world’s greatest living mouse-person, Ariana Grande! Your brain may feel like butter scraped over too much bread but at least your upper body will be absolutely ~toasty~!

Step Two;
Next, find a blanket made from the finest synthetic fibers—the kind of fleece that is so incomprehensibly soft it’s almost as if it was created by scientists to mock god and all her creations! Get yourself on the couch and cover yourself with this big fabric swath of oblivion. Your body will feel so warm that your brain’s daily doom spiral will go down extra smooth.

Step Three:
Lastly, get yourself a mug that is roughly the size of a saucepot that will make your hands look like a baby’s tiny mitts! Pour however much of your hot liquid of choice into your mug and hold it with both of your hands like a Borrower drinking out of a bottle cap. At least you’ll be doing some sweet sippin’ as your brain constantly reminds you that our planet and species are in fact living on borrowed time!

And there you have it! Three steps to get you to that beautiful intersection of appearing to be good but ultimately feeling bad. And who knows, depending on the next couple of months, you might get to add another gentle coping mechanism to your repertoire. Let’s just say, next month we may or may not have five candles that you can project your friends’ personalities onto and become the new lights of your life! Stay tuned 🙂