Minnesota Dentists Celebrate Zero Lion Killing Incidents For Third Year In Row


The Minnesota Dental Association (MDA) gathered at the Hyatt Regency in Bloomington this week to celebrate another calendar year free from any lion killing incidents. The event, attended by dentists across the state, centered around a ceremony in which the president of the Association updated a large sign labeled “Years Since A Lion Was Killed” from two to three.

In 2015, a Minnesota dentist infamously killed Zimbabwe’s beloved Cecil the Lion. The tragic incident caused a renewed anti-lion killing fervor among the state’s dentists. “That whole Cecil thing was terrible,” said one attendee from Rochester, “we dentists have long prided ourselves on our record of zero lions killed so this was a major setback.”

Dentists at the event were congratulated for their hard work but encouraged not to become complacent; to always be on guard, reporting any friends who might be thinking of killing lions to the disciplinary board.

An educational slideshow played that showcased the many benefits of not shooting large cats, set to an acoustic guitar. Later, a speaker read from a list of some fun suggested activities that do not involve killing lions. During this, the crowd took copious notes. “It’s not just a celebration. It’s also a learning experience,” said an attendee from Duluth, “Next year, I think I’ll take up bowling so I have something to do if the urge to kill a lion ever comes up”.

The event ended with music and a round of refreshments that included champagne, cake, and thirty pounds of ground Bengal tiger meat.