Modern Day Magellan Lives in St. Paul But Works in Minnetonka


ST. PAUL — Preparing to embark on another cross-city voyage, local woman Kelly Anderson woke before sunrise to pack the necessary provisions required to complete the treacherous daily voyage from St. Paul to Minnetonka.

“I usually bring an apple to snack on during the drive. I get a little hungry somewhere around Golden Valley,” remarked the fearless explorer, “That and podcasts really make the commute kind of enjoyable! I actually look forward to my time alone.”

The intrepid traveler has relied upon the same trustworthy vessel for years to trek beyond the edges of the metropolitan area, naming it ‘Subaru Forester’. “For a 2004 it’s not too bad. There’s over 100,000 miles on it and burns through oil like crazy though.”

Sources confirmed Ms. Anderson is not in search of spices to trade, nor is she escaping religious persecution. Instead she ventures in pursuit of personal fortune by “working in marketing”. At press time, the courageous pioneer did not report a fear of falling off the edge of the earth. “What like Wayzata? No, I never go that far.”