MPD to Lose Friday Pizza Parties Due to $1.5M Budget Cuts

MINNEAPOLIS — Due to petitions and protests in favor of defunding the Minneapolis Police Department, the city council approved a $1.5 million cut to the department, resulting in the loss of the department’s Friday pizza parties, also known as Pie-day Friday. 

“It’s a devastating loss,” said MPD’s assistant chief of police, Mike Kjos. “A lot of our officers don’t even know what they’d be doing here, if not for Pie-day Friday.”

The budget trim will reduce the department’s budget from $195 million to $193.5 million, which means that funding will still be available for planned and ad hoc domestic terrorism. Nonetheless, the colossal cuts have stirred the emotions of a number of officers in the force. 

Said one anonymous officer, holding back tears: “If they cancel Pie-day Fridays, I’ll take off this badge and this uniform and never look back!”