Once Again, Co-op Customer Sheepishly Replies That She is Not a Member of the Co-op


MINNEAPOLIS — For the sixth time this month, area woman Julia Bender was forced to avert her gaze and admit to the cashier at the Seward Community Co-op that she is not a co-op member.

The incident occurred at the co-op’s checkout line late Thursday evening after Bender had stopped by to pick up a $9 case of pamplemousse La Croix. Sources reported that the cashier cheerfully asked Bender whether or not she was “a member with us by any chance?”

This question prompted the socially-anxious Bender to avert her gaze and timidly reply that, no, she is not a member in an exchange which Bender later described as “harrowing.”

“I mean, am I allowed to shop here if I’m not? I mean I know I’m allowed but, like, sooner or later they’re going to start recognizing me and I don’t want to become that person, you know? I don’t even shop here that often. I just live nearby and didn’t feel like driving, okay!”

When asked for his side of the story, the cashier in question replied “Who?”

At press time, Bender was reportedly considering a membership, but didn’t real feel like volunteering because she is “really busy right now”.