Two months since the death of her husband, Maureen Mcdonald is now coming face to face with a startling sight: hundreds of casseroles which form a four foot pile of glass Pyrex that crowd her front stoop.
“It all started after Barry passed” said McDonald, “At first I thought it was sweet, even though the casseroles were very bland. But it’s been months and I have no idea what to do with all the leftovers!”
Mcdonald says she receives about eight hot dishes a night, one from each of her neighbors, and another most likely from Carol, her desk mate at work. “Losing Barry was hard enough, but now I can never even look at tater tots again”
Mcdonald reports that she routinely struggles to push open the front door without causing a cascade of falling casseroles. She also showed that the inside of her kitchen cabinets and bedroom closet contain tupperware stacked like tetris pieces, and that behind her shower curtain were six-foot high stacks of Pyrex piled in the bathtub.“They just KEEP COMING” Maureen wailed.
Just as McDonald was relaying this information to reporters, the front door bell rang again to reveal her next door neighbors, Janice, Eugene and Patty who were each equipped with steaming dishes of casseroles, large smiles and dead eyes. Mcdonald hid behind a potted plant and whispered, “If I open the door, they will never leave! They’ll stand in the doorway for two hours talking about the weather. I’ve found it’s better just to wait it out.” She sighed as each of them dropped their dishes into the looming monstrosity on her stoop.
In lieu of casseroles, Mcdonald suggests donating a subscription to Blue Apron.