Uptown Guy Has Hot Take on ‘All This Me Too Stuff’

MINNEAPOLIS – With the conversation around sexual harassment and the treatment of women remaining in the headlines, local dude Trey Allen weighed in with some unsolicited thoughts. “Sure I think it’s great, but at what cost?”, said Mr. Allen even though no one fucking asked him.

Despite no prompting and zero authority to speak on the subject, Mr. Allen, an average man with no discernible qualities that make him special, continued. “I’m not sure I like what this thing is doing to society” in regard to the long overdue empowerment of women across the world.

Sources confirmed Mr. Allen—a total dumb fuck—referred to the worldwide movement as “aggressive”, seemingly unaware of the irony and idiotic rhetoric spewing out of his unremarkable mouth. Experts on the matter say starting sentences with “for arguments sake” and “how do we even know if these women are telling the truth?” don’t fucking help anyone and makes Allen sound like a goddamn idiot.

Experts went on to add that Mr. Allen should “shut the fuck up and never talk about this again.”