Walz’s Covid Lockdown Measures Ensure Safety, You Won’t Run Into People From High School, Before Thanksgiving

Photo by Runner1928

MINNEAPOLIS — As Coronavirus cases reach new records, Governor Tim Walz has put measures in place to try and curb the spread. Social gatherings were limited to ten people on November 10 and a 10:00pm curfew and 50% capacity was implemented for bars and restaurants on the 13th, which for many anti-social Minnesotans, is good news.

“While my main concern is reducing the risk of spread, I’m glad it’s now less likely that I’ll run into people from my high school this year. That makes me feel safe more than anything else,” Minneapolis resident Stephanie Gates tells us.

Many young adults will be opting to either not gather with family this year.  But those that will be seeing family are trying to limit their exposure to the virusand awkward small talk as much as possible.

“I guarantee my mom will make me go to Cub Foods at some point before Thanksgiving, like that can’t really be avoided,” Aaron Sanders predicts, “but it will be such a relief that I’ll have a legit excuse to not stop and talk if I run into someone I barely knew in high school who messaged me a couple years ago about an ‘incredible business opportunity’ that ‘lets them be their own boss.’”

As indoor dining is recognized as an increasingly dangerous activity, some going home next week are delighted that they won’t be allowed to return to any childhood haunts anytime soon.

As Anna Peters puts it, “the fact that I can’t step foot in the Plymouth Applebee’s next week is really what’s keeping me going. Like, most things are terrible but at least I won’t have to suck down a Dollarita while my high school boyfriend explains why we should really give it another shot.”No one should have to go through that. Thank you, Governor.