MINNEAPOLIS – Local feminist Justin Barnes is speaking truth to power by continuing to refer to the Minnesota Vikings and all other athletics as “sportsball.”
“Go sportsball!” Barnes sarcastically exclaimed, waving a finger in the air, “Look how sporty the sportsmen are sporting!” he added, referring to the Vikings-49ers game playing on every screen in the Dinkytown Buffalo Wild Wings. His statements drew several confused looks from adjacent bar patrons, but he remained steadfast.
“See, I actually used to enjoy watching sweaty men bump into each other while scantily clad women cheered them on but, after becoming woke to how it reinforces patriarchal oppression, I just couldn’t support it anymore,” Barnes explained, “I didn’t even know there was a game on today because I don’t follow sportsball; I just felt like getting some wings.”
At half time, Barnes was seen “ironically” checking his DraftKings fantasy football league standing on his phone.