Walz Activates National Guard To Arrest Unruly Conscience After Realizing He Might Be Wrong About Line 3
ST. PAUL — Governor Tim Walz activated the Army National Guard early today to assist…
Tyler Martindale
Inspiring: Meet The Man Trying To Heal His Broken City Using The Therapeutic Art Of “Denying That Anything Is Wrong”
The Twin Cities are hurting. Largely unaddressed social ills like rampant homelessness, inequality, and unchecked…
A Much Needed Update: The Gold Horses At The State Capitol Have Been Replaced With Gold Spacious, Dependable Dodge Grand Caravans
It’s about time! Progress of the State, the gold-plated sculpture of four horses pulling a…
Walz Assures Minnesotans That If COVID Rates Continue To Improve, They’ll All Be Able To Gawk At A Pig’s Huge Balls At The State Fair This Year
After a trying year, there may finally be a light at the end of the…
Report: Distance Learning Could Be Depriving Fifth Graders Of Learning From A Kid Named Trevor That Sex Is When A Man Pees Into A Lady’s Butt
A startling new report from the Institute of Education Sciences has found that online schooling…
Unlikely Animal Friendship: This Cow Is Friends With Another Cow That Totally Sucks
Awww. Now, this is sure to brighten your day. A cow in Albert Lea is…
Ok?: This Cloquet Man Really Cares About This British Royal Family For Some Reason
Huh. This one’s weird. Dan Schmidt, a grown adult man who manages an auto parts…
Woman Just Gonna Go To The Chaska Kohl’s! That’s It! She’s Just Gonna Go, And It’s Gonna Be Fine!
CHASKA — Rita Sanderson of Victoria is just gonna go to the Chaska Kohl’s, and…
Strong, Resolute Jacob Frey Demands Minneapolis Police Union Let Him Go To Bed An Hour Later Tonight
MINNEAPOLIS — Radiating fortitude and tenacity, Mayor Jacob Frey took a bold stance today by…
DNR Agent About To Be Cut In Half With Laser By Sinister Head Of International Criminal Angling Syndicate
Trapped inside an underwater lair somewhere in Lake Superior, DNR Agent Jack Whitlock has been…
Eau Claire In Running To Host 2028 International Drunk Driving Games
Exciting news, sports fans! Eau Claire is on the shortlist of potential host cities for…
New Star Tribune Website To Display Flaming Skull, Live Satellite Image Of Your Home When Article Limit Reached
As part of a new campaign to increase revenue, the Star Tribune has introduced a…
Paul Gazelka Winds Down After Long Day By Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper, Staring At Television Static For Three Hours
ST. PAUL — After a long day of standing up against marijuana legalization, COVID-19 safety…