Ancient, Two Month Old Pile Of Dog Crap Recently Thawed From Snowbank Not Sure What To Make Of This Strange New World
BLOOMINGTON — A pile of dog crap long frozen in a snowbank on the side…
Tyler Martindale
CDC Worried New COVID Variant Discovered In Edina May Have Gained Ability To Purchase Race Horse
EDINA — The CDC says a new COVID-19 variant believed to have originated in Edina…
PR Fail: General Mills Thought It’d Be Cute To Give The Trix Rabbit The COVID Vaccine But It Made His Arms Fall Off
MINNEAPOLIS — Wow. This is a major blunder. General Mills thought it’d be a cute…
Hormel Introduces New Ethically Produced SPAM Made Solely Of Pigs That Deserved It
AUSTIN — In an effort to cater to an increasingly morally conscious public, Hormel has…
Jacob Frey Googles “How To Get A Funko Pop Of Yourself??!” For Fourth Time Today
MINNEAPOLIS — Mayor Jacob Frey has reportedly been ignoring meetings, morning agendas, and other duties…
Loose Cannon Minneapolis Cop Forced To Turn In Badge, Gun, Other Gun, Tear Gas Canisters, Grenade Launcher, Katana, Flamethrower, Tank, Other Tank, Grappling Hook, Trebuchet, Klingon Bat’leth
MINNEAPOLIS — After getting himself in a mess even he couldn’t wriggle out of, Officer…
300 Brave, Shirtless DNR Officers Defend Mille Lacs From Invading Horde Of Drunk Ice Fisherman
Despite being vastly outnumbered, three hundred of the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources’ bravest, most…
Minnesota History Center Under Fire For Opening Exhibit About Embarrassing Time Teenage Paul Bunyan Lost Virginity To Tree
ST. PAUL — The Minnesota History Center opened a new exhibit this month that chronicles…
DNR Introduces New Moose Species That Buries Its Dead
Investors and DNR fans are abuzz with excitement over the unveiling of a new type…
A Baffling Gesture: General Mills Just Replaced The Honey Nut Cheerios Bee With Crispus Attucks For The Entire Month Of February
Huh. Not sure what they were thinking with this one. General Mills decided to celebrate…
There’s Just No Way: This St. Paul House Listing Says One of Its Amenities is That Josh Hartnett Currently Lives There But You’ll Never Hear or See Him Because He’s Studying For A Role As A Tiny Aphid in “A Bug’s Life 2”
There’s no way any of this is true, right? A new St Paul house listing…
OPINION: St. Cloud Is A World-Class City So Why The Fuck Haven’t They Made A Movie Where Godzilla Destroys It Yet?
There is no denying that St. Cloud, the city I am proud to represent as…
U of M Scientists Announce They’ve Successfully Implanted Memories of 1991 Blizzard Directly Into Mouse Brain
MINNEAPOLIS — University of Minnesota scientists announced today that they’ve successfully implanted memories of the…