Finally Living up to Its Name: Midtown Global Market Just Opened a New Stall That Offers a Taste of Mole Man Cuisine From Deep Inside the Hollow Earth
Midtown Global Market is at long last becoming truly global by adding a kiosk that…
Tyler Martindale
Study: Ancient Markings Near Minnehaha Falls Suggest Humans Once Hunted 30 Foot Tall Penises
MINNEAPOLIS — A new survey of rock art near Minnehaha Falls suggests that prehistoric humans…
Ghost Haunting Split Rock Lighthouse Bored as Fuck
The ghost that haunts the North Shore’s historic Split Rock Lighthouse has revealed that he’s…
Not Again: All 11,000 Runners in Duluth’s ‘Grandpa’s Marathon’ Have Stopped Running Ten Minutes in To Drink Black Coffee at a Hardee’s and Talk About Their Favorite Burt Lancaster Movies
Frustrating event organizers and fans alike, all 11,283 runners in Duluth’s annual “Grandpa’s Marathon” have…
Douchey Edina Man Brings Cello to House Party
EDINA — A house party in Edina ground to a screeching halt when, entirely unprompted,…
Know Before You Go: All 30 Documents You’ll Need to Apply for a Real ID
On May 3rd 2023, all Minnesotans will be required to have a Real ID in…
This Day in Minnesota History: The Four Horses That Pulled an “Air Bud” and Won the 1996 NBA Championship for the Minnesota Timberwolves Are Immortalized in a Gold Statue at the State Capitol
On today’s date in 2005, Governor Tim Pawlenty officially unveiled the State Capitol’s bronze and…
General Mills Reveals That They Accidentally Leaked Thousands Of Customers’ Addresses To The Cookie Crisp Wolf
MINNEAPOLIS — In what is being called an ‘unprecedented’ security breach, Minnesota-based foodstuffs manufacturer General…
OPINION: St. Paul Public Schools Have NO Right To Tell My Daughter She Is Evil Simply Because She Is White (And Also Evil)
This is what the founding fathers warned us about. The sinister Marxist ideology of “critical…
Representation Win: Sesame Street Just Added A New Puppet From Edina Who Keeps Telling Oscar The Grouch To Learn How To Code
It’s about time! The latest episode of the beloved educational children’s show ‘Sesame Street’ introduced…
On This Day In Minnesota History: Rocky And Bullwinkle Are Arrested In Tehran Attempting To Free Iranian Hostages
On today’s date in 1980, beloved Frostbite Falls, Minnesota residents Rocket “Rocky” J. Squirrel and…
DNR Designates Far End Of Rogers Target Parking Lot A Protected Habitat For Exhausted People Who Just Want To Sit, Eat Their Little Snack, And Cry
ROGERS — The Minnesota Department of Natural Resources has officially allocated the far end of…
Embarrassed Bear Cub Can’t Believe Mom Is Mauling Guy’s Face Off In Front Of All His Friends
ITASCA COUNTY — Bashfully covering his face with his paws, a 10-month-old black bear cub…
5 Ways To Cheer Up Your Landlord Who’s Feeling Down After Rent Control Passage
After St. Paul voters passed one of the most progressive rent control policies in the…