Ball Officially in Your Court After College Acquaintance Texts ‘Beers soon?’
MINNEAPOLIS — After receiving the open-ended text message of “Hey man! Beers soon?” the decision…
Lucas Hines
Rooftop Season, Patio Season, Whatever You Call It: Day Drinking is Back, Baby!
MINNEAPOLIS — Hot damn! The sun has returned, baby! Minnesotans are fucking stoked that it’s…
7 Paddle Boarder Pile-Up Brings Lake Traffic to a Standstill
MINNEAPOLIS — Lake Bde Maka Ska experienced deadlock unlike the Uptown neighborhood had ever seen…
BREAKING: Everyone at 7th St. Entry Knows You’re High
Photo by Martin Fisch MINNEAPOLIS — After consuming edibles in the line for an indie…
Andrew Wiggins Arriving for Game Day is Reminded by Janitor That Season Ended Weeks Ago
MINNEAPOLIS — Minnesota Timberwolves starting small forward, Andrew Wiggins, was informed by an operations assistant…
Mayo Clinic Announces Groundbreaking Vaccination That Your Sister-In-Law Will Ignore
ROCHESTER — Mayo Clinic officials held a press conference last afternoon to unveil the latest…
Downtown Target Plaza Video Board Flashing the Word “Purge” for Some Reason
Original Photo By Iain MINNEAPOLIS — Downtown commuters are voicing concerns over the Target Plaza…
Loring Park Now 35% Goose Poop
MINNEAPOLIS — The Minneapolis Park & Recreations Board have released their findings from a month-long…
Aaron Rodgers Renegotiates Contract to Become Mayor of Green Bay
GREEN BAY — Seven time Pro Bowler and Super Bowl XLV MVP, Aaron Rodgers, has…
PED Test Administered to 6-Year-Old Arm Wrestler Following Match With Uncle Roy
Mankato — The US Anti-Doping Agency has ordered Brynlee Anderson, age six, to report for…