Tragic! Suburban Commuter’s Favorite Downtown Parking Spot is Now Affordable Housing

MINNEAPOLIS — In an unspeakably depressing turn of events, Wayzata resident Wayne Lindherholm’s most beloved parking space in downtown Minneapolis has been callously turned into affordable housing.

Linderholm’s cherished parking space, #215, was the Target lawyer’s prized place to park his Audi A3 convertible.

“I have so many fond memories of that space,” said Linderholm of the slice of neglected blacktop that sat within walking distance to many offices, public transportation lines, and social service facilities.

Despite their loving bond, this May, the entire 300 car surface-lot was viciously turned into an 50-unit apartment complex aimed to specifically serve low income residents.

“What are they even gonna do with the space, huh? Eat? Sleep? They don’t even have Audis!” exclaimed Linderholm in righteous anguish. 

Many suburban commuters shared Linderholm’s horror at the destruction of a convenient parking spot just to make way for shelter for fellow human beings. Hundreds gathered for a candlelight vigil over lunch break, commemorating their connection to the asphalt car park.

Many held back tears as they spoke of how they will now have to walk a couple, even multiple blocks to get to their high paying corporate jobs.

“Who could do something so heartless?” Linderholm, the organizer of the event, cried out between heavy sobs. After composing himself and being comforted by fellow mourning suburban commuters, Linderholm ended his remarks by saying: “I just hope this never happens again.”

In lieu of flowers, Linderholm will be accepting donations to recreate his parking spot by tearing down a local soup kitchen.