City With Hella Pot Holes Somehow Has Money For Temporary Concrete Barricades
MINNEAPOLIS — The city of Minneapolis, a city riddled with potholes, somehow has enough money…
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DNR Agent About To Be Cut In Half With Laser By Sinister Head Of International Criminal Angling Syndicate
Trapped inside an underwater lair somewhere in Lake Superior, DNR Agent Jack Whitlock has been…
Eau Claire In Running To Host 2028 International Drunk Driving Games
Exciting news, sports fans! Eau Claire is on the shortlist of potential host cities for…
Scale it Forward: All Female Animatronic Crocodiles at Rainforest Cafe Given Lipstick & Eyelashes for Women’s History Month
BLOOMINGTON — In a decision that appeals to women’s rights activists and animatronic enthusiasts alike,…
New Star Tribune Website To Display Flaming Skull, Live Satellite Image Of Your Home When Article Limit Reached
As part of a new campaign to increase revenue, the Star Tribune has introduced a…
Paul Gazelka Winds Down After Long Day By Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper, Staring At Television Static For Three Hours
ST. PAUL — After a long day of standing up against marijuana legalization, COVID-19 safety…
‘You Should Spend Less Money on Coffee’ Says Edina Resident from Privately Guarded Wine Grotto
EDINA — Arnold Brushwipe, Edina resident and current CFO of his family’s meat processing business…
Ancient, Two Month Old Pile Of Dog Crap Recently Thawed From Snowbank Not Sure What To Make Of This Strange New World
BLOOMINGTON — A pile of dog crap long frozen in a snowbank on the side…
State Surprised That Failing To Support Businesses Leads to Failed Businesses
Various Minnesota elected officials held a press conference earlier this week to express their shock…
5 Houseplants That Can Be A Substitute For The Warmth Of A Forgiving God
Nothing brings on more winter blues than looking outside and seeing nothing but gray skies…
Sociopath Looks Up Hinge Date On LinkedIn
ROCHESTER — In a move that can only be described as disturbing, local sociopath Tanner…