3 Ways to Tell Your Boyfriend the Hold Steady Is Boring
So, you’ve landed yourself a perfectly fine, plaid-wearing, corn-eating white boy from the midwest. I…
Jay Kistler
Seimone Augustus Horrible Person for Taking Her Talents to a Livable Climate
Photo by Lorie Shaull
Lol! This Guy Thinks It’s Almost Spring
My buddy Brian Bantz moved to Minnesota in August with his wife Courtney. Brian, who…
Guthrie Announces New Season Full of Every Play You Did in High School
Guthrie Artistic Director Joseph Haj spoke to a group of donors and press this morning, grinning ear to ear. “This year is gonna be another box office smash!” he exclaimed, as he unveiled a poster displaying all of the shows set to play in the coming year, all of which were performed…
Robbinsdale Teen Dreams of Moving to the Big City of Bloomington
On a brisk, Robbinsdale MN night in late February, Jonathan Scofield brushes the popcorn dust…
Opinion: Entitled Brat Thinks He’s Owed Money Just Because He Works at My Culver’s
Let me give you an example: I run a franchise of fast food restaurants called Culver’s. Heard of it?! Yeah, I earned the spot of owning various locations by buying it with my $45M of hard-won inheritance that has been accumulated by my family for centuries. No one’s gonna accuse me of being a freeloader! Now get this: we hire these cashiers to…
Fourth Day of Hanukkah is a Federal Holiday, for Some Reason
Apparently, this year of ALL YEARS, Hanukkah falls on—get this—the holiday of “Chris Mass”. So several years ago some local boy kept a little unkosher, apprenticed under his adopted father as a carpenter (good profession), then became your average, fly-by-night rabbi. His name was Joseph Chris. There was a whole book about him in Greek, and then translated into Latin, and then…
Pregnant Churchgoers Desperate to Give Birth Soon so Their Baby Can Play Jesus
Tis the season! Christian families are eagerly throwing up their Christmas trees, and are already…
Cowards: I Pitched a Story of an Underdog MN Peewee Hockey Team and Disney+ Turned Me Down
So they’ve got this streaming service, right? This Disney+ thing or whatever? I mean how sustainable can those things be anyway? They must be just, like, HURTIN for content, and since I’m an ideas man, I goes up to their offices in Burbank and let myself in. I bang on that trailer with my walking stick, and talk to the guard on duty. He said his name was Mr. Disney and that I pitch everything to him. Here’s my chance, I thought – I pitch him an idea for…
Christian Teenagers Beware: Cold Weather Not an Excuse to Hold Hands!
Dear Youth, We understand that the temperature is getting cooler (despite the liberal media’s insistence…