General Mills Shut Down After Several Contest Winners Injured in Freak Accidents on Tour
Consumers are demanding answers from General Mills after several children were tragically injured on a…
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Woman Forgets to Ask If Scale was “Minnesota Spicy”, Cries Profusely Over Bowl of Pad Thai
ST. PAUL— In between tortured coughs, Sarah Linsmayer came to the realization that the waitress’s…
This Motherfucker Just Called Hamburger Helper “Hotdish”
Minneapolis, MN — Evan Rhodes horrified guests by waltzing into the Owens’ family potluck this…
Edina Gender Reveal Party Culminates in Parents Riding Off in a Hot Air Balloon Shaped Like a Penis
Beaming with joy at the great news they are about to share with their family…
Minnesota Wild to Trade Entire Roster for a Copy of Wayne Gretzky Hockey on N64
Just mere hours before the NHL trade deadline, Craig Leopold and the Minnesota Wild announced…
Sadists Cleave Last Donut Into Smaller and Smaller Slices
The break room of A1 Accounting in St. Louis Park became a veritable torture chamber…
The Best Waterlogged Books Now Available at Your Local Little Free Library
Chicken Soup for the Stepmom’s Soul Your neighbor’s self published memoir titled Eat, Pray, Glove:…
Online Hotdish Recipe Starts with 90,000 Word Novel About Grandma’s House
A Coon Rapids man was forced to read a 90,000 word novel about someone’s grandmother’s…
Metro Transit Unveils New Red Line that Goes Straight to Hell
In an effort to accommodate the growing Twin Cities population, Metro Transit has announced plans…
Edina Opens Artisanal Garbage Can for Wealthy, Discerning Raccoons
The city of Edina opened its first artisanal garbage can for wealthy raccoons at 50th…
“I Love Prince” Agree Two Men Listening to Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti”
STILLWATER, MN. — As the Pandora playlist at a local Perkins restaurant switched tracks and…