Starbucks’ Decision to Phase Out Plastic Straws Forces Employees to Begin Killing Sea Turtles By Hand
LOS BARRILES, MEXICO — Following an announcement that Starbucks plans to eliminate plastic drinking straws…
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Edina Local Government to Adopt Monarchy
KINGDOM OF EDINA, MN — In a landslide election Tuesday, the citizens of Edina voted to…
We Did It! Minnesota Once Again Ranked Number One State That Looks Like It’s Wearing A Tiny Top Hat
For the fiftieth year in a row, Minnesota has been ranked #1 on the list…
New MN Drivers License Design Features Iconic Images of Loon, Canoe, Socially Anxious Man Hiding In Bathroom At A Party
The Minnesota Department of Public Safety has unveiled a new Driver’s License design that features…
Local Woman Uses Two Exclamation Points in Work Email, Has to Quit Now
MINNEAPOLIS — Office administrator Stephanie Johnson is resigning in disgrace from Trusted Help Staffing Solutions…
This Day In History: That Time You Accidentally Called Your Third Grade Teacher “Mom” in Front of Everybody
On this date in history, you mistakenly called your third-grade teacher “Mom” in front of…
Spam Museum Security Guard: “The Exhibits Come Alive at Night and Try to Kill Me”
When I took my job at the Spam Museum a month ago, the outgoing Night…
Stacy, MN Residents Fear None of their Moms Have Got it Going On
STACY — While listening to the popular 2003 song the entire town of Stacy, MN…
Elite DNR Agent Undercover As Elm Tree in Way Too Deep
A Minnesota Department of Natural Resources agent deep undercover as an elm tree is beginning…
Minnesota’s Knife Lake Surprisingly Not the Site of Several Grisly Teen Murders in the 80s
In a shocking turn of events, a recent investigation into the history of Knife Lake,…
Due to Budget Cuts, Mankato Mental Health Professional to be Replaced by Inspirational Poster
MANKATO — Following a series of budget cuts to Health and Human Services by the…
Walleye Most Popular Lake Fish in Minnesota, Which Probably Explains Why They Won’t Return My Texts
A new survey found that Minnesota anglers and lake enthusiasts strongly prefer walleye to other…