New State Auditor Excited to Do Whatever A State Auditor Does
After winning her election on November 6th, Julie Blaha is looking forward to serving as…
News
Twin Cities Archdiocese to Reintroduce Selling of Indulgences to Pay For Large Abuse Settlement
Following the approval of a $210 million dollar settlement to the victims of sexual abuse…
Starbucks’ Decision to Phase Out Plastic Straws Forces Employees to Begin Killing Sea Turtles By Hand
LOS BARRILES, MEXICO — Following an announcement that Starbucks plans to eliminate plastic drinking straws…
Edina Local Government to Adopt Monarchy
KINGDOM OF EDINA, MN — In a landslide election Tuesday, the citizens of Edina voted to…
We Did It! Minnesota Once Again Ranked Number One State That Looks Like It’s Wearing A Tiny Top Hat
For the fiftieth year in a row, Minnesota has been ranked #1 on the list…
New MN Drivers License Design Features Iconic Images of Loon, Canoe, Socially Anxious Man Hiding In Bathroom At A Party
The Minnesota Department of Public Safety has unveiled a new Driver’s License design that features…
Local Woman Uses Two Exclamation Points in Work Email, Has to Quit Now
MINNEAPOLIS — Office administrator Stephanie Johnson is resigning in disgrace from Trusted Help Staffing Solutions…
This Day In History: That Time You Accidentally Called Your Third Grade Teacher “Mom” in Front of Everybody
On this date in history, you mistakenly called your third-grade teacher “Mom” in front of…
Spam Museum Security Guard: “The Exhibits Come Alive at Night and Try to Kill Me”
When I took my job at the Spam Museum a month ago, the outgoing Night…
Stacy, MN Residents Fear None of their Moms Have Got it Going On
STACY — While listening to the popular 2003 song the entire town of Stacy, MN…
Elite DNR Agent Undercover As Elm Tree in Way Too Deep
A Minnesota Department of Natural Resources agent deep undercover as an elm tree is beginning…
Minnesota’s Knife Lake Surprisingly Not the Site of Several Grisly Teen Murders in the 80s
In a shocking turn of events, a recent investigation into the history of Knife Lake,…