Loring Park Woman Would Give Up Every Lesson She’s Learned About Resiliency In The Last Year If She Could Be 3 Beers Deep At the 19 Bar
LORING PARK — As Minnesota crosses the threshold of four million COVID-19 vaccinations, many have…
The Accumulated Mugs, Cups, & Glasses on Minneapolis Woman’s Bedside Table Have Elected Their First Mayor
MINNEAPOLIS — There’s a new community developing in Minneapolis that has yet to displace anyone…
DNR Agent Carefully Avoiding Booby Traps While Investigating Ancient Temple To God Of Zebra Mussels
While investigating the ruins of an ancient temple, the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources’ Head…
Not Again: The Orangutans Just Escaped From Como Zoo By Pretending To Be A Family Of Naked Garrison Keillors
Welp, it happened again. For the third time in the last year, the orangutans at…
Minneapolis Woman May Not Be Able to Afford Therapy But She Can Wear a Fun Little Hat Now That It’s Spring
While many have struggled with mental health and financial insecurity the past year in the…
A Faustian Bargain: The Science Museum Of Minnesota Is Trying To Attract Cooler Kids By Introducing A New Mascot Called Dr. AssKicker Whose Catchphrase Is ‘Safety Goggles Are For Nerds’
In what definitely seems like a misguided and doomed deal with the devil, the Science…
Mall of America Archaeologists Uncover Unmarked Ossuary Containing Remains Of Peppermint Patty
A major breakthrough with the potential to shed a great deal of light on early…
Jacob Frey Excited To Start Governing Now That Whole Racism Thing Over
MINNEAPOLIS — Following the guilty verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial, Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey…
Intricate And Outdated Mode Of Governing Cool Now Because We Got To Keep 8 Seats
After Minnesota avoided losing a Congressional representative in a massive political upset last week, we…
Star Tribune To Appeal To Moms By Introducing New “Oops! All Obituaries” Edition
MINNEAPOLIS — In an effort to increase readership among moms, the Star Tribune is introducing…
Schools Prep For “Gatsby Season” In Every 10th Grade English Class
English teachers across the state are Charleston-ing with glee and celebrating the easiest time of…
How To Convince Your Dad Not To Leave Your Mom For Kirill Kaprizov
Whether your dad is complaining that they only give post-game interviews to Fiala and never…
Elusive Zebra Mussel Taunts DNR in Series of Coded Letters
A zebra mussel on a horrifying lake infestation spree across northern Minnesota has been taunting…
Four Helpful Tips For Safely Resuming Weekly Austin Powers Themed Neighborhood Orgies Once You’re Fully Vaccinated
So it’s been two weeks since your Johnson & Johnson or second Pfizer or Moderna…