Irate Scott Jensen Confuses Trick-or-Treaters With Furries
CHASKA — Several children left the Chaska Target in tears over the weekend as the…
‘I Can Handle One More’ Claims Local Mom Climbing on Twelfth Hayride of the Night
ANOKA — A 44 year-old teacher and mother of three attending a church fair Saturday…
Sick! Pervert Jack-O-Lantern Begging to Be Eaten by Squirrels
MINNEAPOLIS — A jack-o-lantern in South Minneapolis is almost too horny, neighbors claim, leading to…
Ally Alert! This White Man Knows Almost Three Facts About Dakota Culture
Minneapolis resident Alex Wardell, 24, a white man, calls himself an ally but unlike some,…
Scott Jensen Personally Vouches for the Efficacy of Ivermectin in Treating COVID-19, Erectile Dysfunction, Gaping Butthole Syndrome
Speaking at a campaign event Tuesday, Republican gubernatorial candidate Scott Jensen doubled down on his…
Jensen, Oz Open Private Quacktice
Following months of speculation, Minnesota Gubernatorial candidate Dr. Scott Jensen and Pennsylvania Senate candidate Dr….
Pathetic Satire Writers Ask You for Money
A local group of nerds who write satirical articles about the Upper Midwest are asking…
Plymouth Teacher’s Enthusiasm Already Depleted by Travis
Following a relaxing and rejuvenating summer, Plymouth middle school teacher Sarah Schroeder entered the school-year…
Trylon Cinema ‘Ironically’ Starts Showing Movies Everyone Wants To See
Following the success of “Nic Cage, National Treasure,” the Trylon Cinema in south Minneapolis has decided…