Spam Museum Security Guard: “The Exhibits Come Alive at Night and Try to Kill Me”
When I took my job at the Spam Museum a month ago, the outgoing Night…
Local Woman Gets Lost in Skyway, Encounters Jareth the Goblin King
MINNEAPOLIS — Believing she would be able to navigate the vast 9.5 mile system in…
Rich Stanek Hopes Voters Don’t Find Out He’s An Asshole Before the Midterms
MINNEAPOLIS – Hennepin County Sheriff Rich Stanek woke in a nervous sweat in the middle…
Spirit Haunting First Ave Thinks This Band Really Sucks
Glenda, an apparition who haunts First Avenue after committing suicide in the 1940’s when the…
New ValleyScare Attraction Themed Around Aquatic Invasive Species
SHAKOPEE — In the fall of every year ValleyFair sheds its family-friendly image to become…
NFL: Daniel Carlson joins Blair Walsh, Gary Anderson in Vikings’ Hall of Kickers Who Can Go Fuck Themselves
After missing 3 field goals in Sunday’s tie versus the Green Bay Packers, 2 of…
Excelsior Residents Concerned Over Lack of Affordable Lakeside Mansions
EXCELSIOR – An increasing number of local residents are raising concerns over the lack of…
Uptown Bros Association Announces Plan to Continue Calling it Lake Calhoun
MINNEAPOLIS – From a podium outside their headquarters, Stella’s Fish Café, the Uptown Bros Association…
Stacy, MN Residents Fear None of their Moms Have Got it Going On
STACY — While listening to the popular 2003 song the entire town of Stacy, MN…
NFL: Aaron Rodgers Uses Knee Injury to Remind Teammates He’s The Only One Who Fucking Matters
GREEN BAY – Following the Packers victory over the Chicago Bears Sunday night, quarterback Aaron…
We Should Elect Former Governor Jesse Ventura Thinks Former Governor Jesse Ventura
MINNEAPOLIS – Thinking to himself, the former 38th Governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura has reportedly…
Elite DNR Agent Undercover As Elm Tree in Way Too Deep
A Minnesota Department of Natural Resources agent deep undercover as an elm tree is beginning…