Dad Ceremoniously Opens Mahogany Box Holding Leather Sandals As First Day of Grilling Season Approaches
APPLE VALLEY — Now that the weather is consistently above 70 degrees, local dad Dan…
Morgan Gray
MPD Officer Tuckered Out After a Long Day of Upholding White Supremacy
“Whew, now THAT was a day!” said MPD officer Melanie Schnellgruber, as she drops her…
Mall of America M&M Store Already Bans 17 Men for Being “Weird” About Green M&M Statue
Bloomington — While the opening of the M&M’s store at the Mall of America has…
Four Spring Salad Ideas that Will Give You the Cutest Little Colon
Hi cutie! We know that after months of quarantine your bod is probably looking to…
The Accumulated Mugs, Cups, & Glasses on Minneapolis Woman’s Bedside Table Have Elected Their First Mayor
MINNEAPOLIS — There’s a new community developing in Minneapolis that has yet to displace anyone…
Minneapolis Woman May Not Be Able to Afford Therapy But She Can Wear a Fun Little Hat Now That It’s Spring
While many have struggled with mental health and financial insecurity the past year in the…
How to Not Feel Insecure that the Birds in Your Front Yard are Having More Sex Than You
In spring, much of the natural world is busy spreading pollen and spreading their legs,…
Wayzata to Host Father-Son Emotional Distance Fun Run
WAYZATA — As COVID restrictions ease, more cities across the Twin Cities metro look forward…
Denny Hecker Bestows Sash For Top Minnesota Grifter on MyPillow CEO, Mike Lindell
MANKATO — In a maskless ceremony in a Denny’s parking lot with little pomp for…
Mayor Frey Rifling Through Closet of Performance Fleeces to Find Which One Best Conveys That He is Listening and Learning
MINNEAPOLIS — While the jury deliberates on a verdict for Derek Chauvin’s trial, Mayor Frey…
Four John Deere Lawn Mowers Just Waiting for Your Dad to Turn Them On
PRINCETON — Spring has officially sprung in Minnesota and we all know your dad has…
Yes! This New Powderhorn Restaurant Will Serve All Organic, Locally Sourced Variations of Mush
MINNEAPOLIS — Good news, Minneapolis foodies! There’s a new restaurant opening in Powderhorn called Turning…
Scale it Forward: All Female Animatronic Crocodiles at Rainforest Cafe Given Lipstick & Eyelashes for Women’s History Month
BLOOMINGTON — In a decision that appeals to women’s rights activists and animatronic enthusiasts alike,…
‘You Should Spend Less Money on Coffee’ Says Edina Resident from Privately Guarded Wine Grotto
EDINA — Arnold Brushwipe, Edina resident and current CFO of his family’s meat processing business…
How to Be a Comfy-Cozy Cutie While Locked Inside the Mental Prison of Your Own Design
Okay, we get it—life has been a little bit challenging lately! You’re inside all the…