BREAKING: Dad Sees Deer
ANDOVER — Multiple reports have confirmed that mere moments ago, local father and nature enthusiast…
Tyler Martindale
Sad: The Reclusive 112 Year Old Inventor Of “Duck Duck Grey Duck” Just Came Out With A New Game Called “Brown Egg” And It Makes No Sense
Now this is heartbreaking. Cornelius Blünderbuss, the 112 year old inventor of “Duck Duck Grey…
Northstar Line Hopes To Attract More Customers By Adding Victorian Style First Class Railcar Where Murder Is Legal
BIG LAKE — Following a drastic decline in ridership due to the pandemic, the Northstar…
Ancestry.com Announces For Extra $9.99, They’ll Lie And Say Your White Great Great Grandfather Didn’t Settle On Stolen Dakota Land And Was Instead The Beloved Inventor Of The Banana Split
LEHI, UT — Ancestry.com has announced that for a $9.99 fee, they will tell customers…
That’s Nice Of Them: The Duluth Lift Bridge Just Went Up For A Boat That Wasn’t Even That Big
Awww. This story is sure to make your day. Reports are coming out of Duluth…
DNR High Council Senses Great Fear In Potential New Recruit
The Minnesota Department of Natural Resources’ High Council, meeting in their sacred enclave atop Split…
In Landmark Decision, US Supreme Court Agrees To Abolish Police If Colorful Instagram Infographic Gets One Million Likes
WASHINGTON D.C.— In an unprecedented move, the United States Supreme Court decided today that it…
They’re Not Fooling Anyone: The Wabasha Eagle Center’s New Eagle Is Clearly A Parakeet Wearing A Hat That Says Eagle On It
Wow. They really think they’re pulling one over on us, huh? The National Eagle Center…
Walz Activates National Guard To Arrest Unruly Conscience After Realizing He Might Be Wrong About Line 3
ST. PAUL — Governor Tim Walz activated the Army National Guard early today to assist…
Inspiring: Meet The Man Trying To Heal His Broken City Using The Therapeutic Art Of “Denying That Anything Is Wrong”
The Twin Cities are hurting. Largely unaddressed social ills like rampant homelessness, inequality, and unchecked…
A Much Needed Update: The Gold Horses At The State Capitol Have Been Replaced With Gold Spacious, Dependable Dodge Grand Caravans
It’s about time! Progress of the State, the gold-plated sculpture of four horses pulling a…
Walz Assures Minnesotans That If COVID Rates Continue To Improve, They’ll All Be Able To Gawk At A Pig’s Huge Balls At The State Fair This Year
After a trying year, there may finally be a light at the end of the…
Report: Distance Learning Could Be Depriving Fifth Graders Of Learning From A Kid Named Trevor That Sex Is When A Man Pees Into A Lady’s Butt
A startling new report from the Institute of Education Sciences has found that online schooling…
Unlikely Animal Friendship: This Cow Is Friends With Another Cow That Totally Sucks
Awww. Now, this is sure to brighten your day. A cow in Albert Lea is…